We had been married for thirty-five years when the life we enjoyed changed radically. Complications from surgery meant to save my husband's life very nearly killed him. He was in a coma for over a month, and in the hospital or a rehab center awaiting further surgery for almost a year. When he finally came home he was, unsurprisingly, debilitated: weak, unable to care for himself, and somewhat cognitively challenged.

While we knew it was unlikely he would ever recover fully, regaining as much strength and stamina as possible was the next item on our mutual agenda. But over time it became clear that inertia was a powerful force working against the desired outcome. He was tired. Physical therapy was hard. We both knew what he needed to do but he was the one who had to do it. And I was the one who had to make a choice: was I going to nag him constantly, or accept that how hard he worked toward recovery was his choice to make?

Our son created a spreadsheet calendar for his father with daily exercise goals to be checked off. When it sat unmarked for a few days, I would offer gentle reminders. But I learned not to harp. I chose to continue being a loving companion rather than a taskmaster. In spite of my husband's diminished capacities, the five years we had left together included some of the best times of our lives. So, no regrets. And yet....

I've known Dr. James for some time now and seen how he's dealt with his own health challenges, as well as his passion for helping others work with theirs. It's clear to me now how someone like him - someone trained in how the body works who can explain, and encourage, and hold a person accountable for following through on their commitment to health - could have helped us navigate that time more easily.

One person's health problems can trigger all sorts of tremors in family dynamics. Dr. James offers a valuable resource, someone who can mobilize self-care and help stabilize relationships so that love can flow and healing can happen.